Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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