I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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