She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize