I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
