just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if only i could text you this smell
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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