Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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