in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
