I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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