So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
