We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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