I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I forget how to act sober
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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