You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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