The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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