you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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