at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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