Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
