Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Be still, my beating vagina.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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