What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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