We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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