come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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