If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
