everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
