i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
