Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
