I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
