i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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