I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
