I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
