So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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