Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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