Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
