Don't make out with my wife yet
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
