last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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