I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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