Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
