You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
