Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
