As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
