Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
