But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
