We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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