its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
