Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need a burrito and a hug.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
