summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
