i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize