just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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