Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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