Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize