and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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