Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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