drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
