plz talk dirty to me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
