Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
