so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
