Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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