I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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