That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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