There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
