That's intense
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
