i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
