i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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