Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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