Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
